Today I'm feeling

I had an interesting phone call this evening - it seems all the parents from our ante natal classes are meeting up tomorrow night with their babies, so that should be fun.

We never really got to know any of them that well, really strange, as the midwife who phoned said they'd all been asking about me!

I suppose I was so busy taking in everything they're saying in the classes, in between panicing if I was going to remember all of it in a month or so's time when the big day arrived, I forgot about having a good natter.

I was so terrified about giving birth, I couldn't really be all cooey and excited like some of the other mums. Plus I was soooo huge (mind you, still am at the moment!), so uncomfortable and extremely self-concious and insecure, I wasn't in the right frame of mind to do that expectant mum bonding.

I really felt useless and guilty while pregnant that I wasn't 'blooming' like people were telling me I should be. Everyone else was so excited about it all and I was nothing but scared witless and depressed. Not that I didn't want her, I did with all my heart, I was just terrified that I'd be hopeless as a mum and equally terrfied about going into hospital.

We've had another lovely lazy day again today with hubby at home on a bank holiday. Got some lovely video footage of the little one screaming - not in pain, or upset, but at frustration with her rattle that it wouldn't fit in her mouth! As if she's telling it off!

Everything she can lay her hands on goes in her mouth nowadays, including her clothes - I'll have just got her dressed up to go out, put her in her cot while I got cleaned up, and when I come back the bottom of her top or dress will be soaking wet where she's stretched it all the way up and had a good chew!

Wish they'd planned this get-together a little earlier tomorrow - it's at 6.30pm and she goes to bed usually at 7pm, so I'm praying she won't go into meltdown in front of all these people by not being at home in bed. Don't these others put their babies to bed early??

I suppose not all babies get overtired all the time and refuse to go to sleep anywhere else apart from their own bed. I remember the early days where she'd fall asleep anywhere, they seem like years ago now, not three months.

Fingers crossed things go well again tomorrow - she only refused one nap again today, but she does tend to go back to sleep easier with her father than she does with me. He seems to have the knack - whenever I go in, she starts giggling and thinks it's a game!

Praying she'll be gentle with me and let me get some rest! I hate telling him that he's better at my job than I am!

|

Prev - Next

Miss Anything?
Ouch! - Oct. 11, 2005
Cheekbones - Oct. 09, 2005
Is_This_Wrong? - Oct. 07, 2005
chair? - Oct. 06, 2005
diet - Oct. 05, 2005